Depression
Blog 022507
I might be depressed. I really dislike my job. A whole lot. Friday night I left shaking with frustration again. I’ve never had a job where I’ve gone home and felt sick like this. Usually my chest and stomach are really screwed up feeling. Sometimes I consider going to the hospital but I don’t think it’s that bad – yet.
What drives me so nuts at work is the machine I work on. The quality control is a joke. I producing consecutive five balls on Friday night, no two looked alike. Only one was the way it was suppose to be. My production numbers ended up sucking out BAD because I kept fighting with the machine. I felt I produced junk all night long but apparently it’s okay to go to the customer. I really feel we produce junk half the time but it’s okay to go to the customer.
This has driven me to think about my job obsessively. It’s also why I think I may be depressed for the most part. If I can keep my mind off it which is really hard, I’m okay. Otherwise, I have no desire to do anything and just sit mulling over my job.
I did bid on my 3rd job since entering the room. I also have the local want ads sitting on my table. I prefer not to leave Top Flite but maybe it’s for the best. The room I was originally laid off from is possibly shutting down for two more weeks. There’s supposed to be a meeting tomorrow about it. It’s not a good thing when a company drops $22 million dollars on a room that produces award winning products only to lay off every single new hire for the room from the past year and a half and then later probably shut it down for two weeks.
Hopefully February will be the last of the almost $300 monthly heating bill. It will alleviate a lot of financial hardship.
I did produce a nice looking picture of Jaina that I will use for either the front or back cover of issue 3 of The Necropolis Chronicles.
I was able to have a fun time with my friends today playing Heroclix at the store. I was pretty down when I first got there but as we played and had fun I lightened up. My buddy and I lost and our big boppers failed miserably, but I had some really cheap guys (11 & 9 points) prove to be real pain in the asses for our opponents which added much fun to the game.
Had a real shit day driving to my parents the other day. I noticed this minivan right on my bumper at the last stop sign near my house. Didn’t really think anything of it until I was two houses away from my own when it passed me in a no passing zone and really caught me off guard. In less than 5 seconds I was making a left hand turn into my driveway. Had the timing been a little different the minivan making an illegal pass would have slammed into my driver’s side door. So I wasn’t happy with that.
I then dropped off the milk I bought and headed to my parents place. I got maybe a quarter mile from my house when I got stuck behind a lady doing 25 mph. So I switched from a speeder that recklessly passes people to a slow poke. So I figure, ‘okay, I take this side route to get around her’ since my whole road is two solid yellow no passing lines. So I do my little deal and get to a major intersection only to find I’m somehow behind the old lady again. In the end, she went 85% of the way I take to my parents. So I wasn’t happy when I got to my parents place.
I had more stuff to rant about but I’ve forgotten. Probably the last thing I’ll add is that I’ve been playing Call of Duty 2 all to hell. I’ve put in a lot of hours this week. I just didn’t have the desire to do anything else. That was another reason I feel I’m depressed.
So what does the future hold? Who the hell knows. I guess we’ll see.
I might be depressed. I really dislike my job. A whole lot. Friday night I left shaking with frustration again. I’ve never had a job where I’ve gone home and felt sick like this. Usually my chest and stomach are really screwed up feeling. Sometimes I consider going to the hospital but I don’t think it’s that bad – yet.
What drives me so nuts at work is the machine I work on. The quality control is a joke. I producing consecutive five balls on Friday night, no two looked alike. Only one was the way it was suppose to be. My production numbers ended up sucking out BAD because I kept fighting with the machine. I felt I produced junk all night long but apparently it’s okay to go to the customer. I really feel we produce junk half the time but it’s okay to go to the customer.
This has driven me to think about my job obsessively. It’s also why I think I may be depressed for the most part. If I can keep my mind off it which is really hard, I’m okay. Otherwise, I have no desire to do anything and just sit mulling over my job.
I did bid on my 3rd job since entering the room. I also have the local want ads sitting on my table. I prefer not to leave Top Flite but maybe it’s for the best. The room I was originally laid off from is possibly shutting down for two more weeks. There’s supposed to be a meeting tomorrow about it. It’s not a good thing when a company drops $22 million dollars on a room that produces award winning products only to lay off every single new hire for the room from the past year and a half and then later probably shut it down for two weeks.
Hopefully February will be the last of the almost $300 monthly heating bill. It will alleviate a lot of financial hardship.
I did produce a nice looking picture of Jaina that I will use for either the front or back cover of issue 3 of The Necropolis Chronicles.
I was able to have a fun time with my friends today playing Heroclix at the store. I was pretty down when I first got there but as we played and had fun I lightened up. My buddy and I lost and our big boppers failed miserably, but I had some really cheap guys (11 & 9 points) prove to be real pain in the asses for our opponents which added much fun to the game.
Had a real shit day driving to my parents the other day. I noticed this minivan right on my bumper at the last stop sign near my house. Didn’t really think anything of it until I was two houses away from my own when it passed me in a no passing zone and really caught me off guard. In less than 5 seconds I was making a left hand turn into my driveway. Had the timing been a little different the minivan making an illegal pass would have slammed into my driver’s side door. So I wasn’t happy with that.
I then dropped off the milk I bought and headed to my parents place. I got maybe a quarter mile from my house when I got stuck behind a lady doing 25 mph. So I switched from a speeder that recklessly passes people to a slow poke. So I figure, ‘okay, I take this side route to get around her’ since my whole road is two solid yellow no passing lines. So I do my little deal and get to a major intersection only to find I’m somehow behind the old lady again. In the end, she went 85% of the way I take to my parents. So I wasn’t happy when I got to my parents place.
I had more stuff to rant about but I’ve forgotten. Probably the last thing I’ll add is that I’ve been playing Call of Duty 2 all to hell. I’ve put in a lot of hours this week. I just didn’t have the desire to do anything else. That was another reason I feel I’m depressed.
So what does the future hold? Who the hell knows. I guess we’ll see.
posted by DungeonMasterJim at 7:16 PM
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