No change
Things haven't changed much. That's both good and bad.
Mom is still in Intensive Care and she probably isn't leaving there for days. She went in last Saturday. The doctors have yet to get the liquid out of her lungs. So she has to keep the ventilator in. I understand this. I am willing to wait until mom is really ready to have the respirator removed so that she can breath on her own without assistance. Others are not. And it creates A LOT of friction and tension. It partially errupted even today in mom's ICU room :( And with mom's mental capacities strong, she could see and hear the tension. I wasn't happy it happened and mom has stated - through nodding and finger motions because she can't talk - that she is worried about certain family members. This is HER time and she shouldn't have to worry about US. :(
It's really tough that some family members aren't handling the situation well. I fully understand that but it really sucks when you can't tell the truth without a fight errupting within 10 seconds if the truth is stated. And now the money crunch is starting to hit. My 32 hour paycheck only stretches so far. Between my own bills and now adding the bills of the household money's going to get tight. I've already dipped into money I've set aside for other things and I don't know that I won't have to again. With some proper organization it can all be settled without much of a big deal but neither my oldest brother nor I are in charge of the finances. We are able to recognize what is needed, what has to be bought and what is frivilous. I can already see conrontations coming when I'll be asked for money for something and I will either have to say no and take money from my savings account. And it's all so easily avoided. :(
If the most recent mediciation does not remove the liquid then the doctors will have to resort to using a needle to pull it out. I don't know if this means more surgery or not. The doctors are trying the medicine first because the needle is 'invasive' and I'm not sure needs that right now. However, if it means another tough stretch to get a lot better, then the needle it must be. We'll see.
My days are long and tough. Pretty much, they are: get up, shower, drive family memebers to see mom. Then come how for about an hour before having to get ready for work. Work. Come home and do something for about an hour or 90 minutes if I push it. Bed.
I do it, but it's weakenening me. I'm not releasing the tension and emotional build-up on a daily basis. I'm seeing friends tonight and also on one of the weekend days. I really can't wait. I just want a few hours where I can forget about the whole situation if only for a little while. I want the constant headache pain of the past two days to go away. I think it will. And actually, thank god I AM working only 32 hours. The physical and mental drain is way worse than any money woes. The money woes just mean some money out of my savings account. But at times I really feel like I'm just about to collapse wherever I am.
Unless something really bad happens - which kinda shouldn't since while mom's improvment is really nothing, there's no sign of her deteriorating - I should be going to Wizard World Boston. This is probably my last realistic chance to try and promote my comic book to publishers. Sending stuff via mail submissions is waaaaaay to slow and from the 3 out 10 or more publishers I've sent stuff to, all are rejections. Between my house closing which has to be done by Oct 17 and the current health situation with my mom, I gotta believe that if I don't get a publisher interested at Boston then the book will probably have little shot at being successful even if I self-publish it.
All this probably sounds really horrible and depressing and it rather is. Some days are better than others and some just really, really suck. But in my gut, despite it going to be a long time for the healing process to be complete, that my mom is going to be okay. Things won't be the same, and she'll probably won't be quite as strong and healthy as she once was, but she'll keep trooping and be a productive person and I look forward to that day.
Mom is still in Intensive Care and she probably isn't leaving there for days. She went in last Saturday. The doctors have yet to get the liquid out of her lungs. So she has to keep the ventilator in. I understand this. I am willing to wait until mom is really ready to have the respirator removed so that she can breath on her own without assistance. Others are not. And it creates A LOT of friction and tension. It partially errupted even today in mom's ICU room :( And with mom's mental capacities strong, she could see and hear the tension. I wasn't happy it happened and mom has stated - through nodding and finger motions because she can't talk - that she is worried about certain family members. This is HER time and she shouldn't have to worry about US. :(
It's really tough that some family members aren't handling the situation well. I fully understand that but it really sucks when you can't tell the truth without a fight errupting within 10 seconds if the truth is stated. And now the money crunch is starting to hit. My 32 hour paycheck only stretches so far. Between my own bills and now adding the bills of the household money's going to get tight. I've already dipped into money I've set aside for other things and I don't know that I won't have to again. With some proper organization it can all be settled without much of a big deal but neither my oldest brother nor I are in charge of the finances. We are able to recognize what is needed, what has to be bought and what is frivilous. I can already see conrontations coming when I'll be asked for money for something and I will either have to say no and take money from my savings account. And it's all so easily avoided. :(
If the most recent mediciation does not remove the liquid then the doctors will have to resort to using a needle to pull it out. I don't know if this means more surgery or not. The doctors are trying the medicine first because the needle is 'invasive' and I'm not sure needs that right now. However, if it means another tough stretch to get a lot better, then the needle it must be. We'll see.
My days are long and tough. Pretty much, they are: get up, shower, drive family memebers to see mom. Then come how for about an hour before having to get ready for work. Work. Come home and do something for about an hour or 90 minutes if I push it. Bed.
I do it, but it's weakenening me. I'm not releasing the tension and emotional build-up on a daily basis. I'm seeing friends tonight and also on one of the weekend days. I really can't wait. I just want a few hours where I can forget about the whole situation if only for a little while. I want the constant headache pain of the past two days to go away. I think it will. And actually, thank god I AM working only 32 hours. The physical and mental drain is way worse than any money woes. The money woes just mean some money out of my savings account. But at times I really feel like I'm just about to collapse wherever I am.
Unless something really bad happens - which kinda shouldn't since while mom's improvment is really nothing, there's no sign of her deteriorating - I should be going to Wizard World Boston. This is probably my last realistic chance to try and promote my comic book to publishers. Sending stuff via mail submissions is waaaaaay to slow and from the 3 out 10 or more publishers I've sent stuff to, all are rejections. Between my house closing which has to be done by Oct 17 and the current health situation with my mom, I gotta believe that if I don't get a publisher interested at Boston then the book will probably have little shot at being successful even if I self-publish it.
All this probably sounds really horrible and depressing and it rather is. Some days are better than others and some just really, really suck. But in my gut, despite it going to be a long time for the healing process to be complete, that my mom is going to be okay. Things won't be the same, and she'll probably won't be quite as strong and healthy as she once was, but she'll keep trooping and be a productive person and I look forward to that day.
posted by DungeonMasterJim at 1:28 PM
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